I get asked constantly "When are you guys having babies?"; "You would make such good parents", they say. Sure, I agree with the second part. I would make an amazing Mother, and Phillip, an even more amazing Dad. How do we know this? Because we have a son, he has 4 legs, fur and I pick up his poop, just as a mother changes a diaper. I read this article about being married without children. It was written by a liberal (we are staunch Republicans, minus the religion part), nevertheless, I agreed on everything this article said about parenthood, or non-parenthood I should say, and the prejudices that come along with it. It's hard being married and planning on a zero-tolerance baby policy! Glad there are others, though, that don't judge us on our unwillingness to procreate.Many childless couples say they find themselves drifting away from friends once children are added to the mix. I find this all-too-true in my own life as they become less and less available. I become the friend they can count on for a "I don't have the kids for 1 hour and 48 minutes" date, let's down 5 martinis. Don't get me wrong, I would MUCH rather be THAT friend than the mommy friend who's 1 hour, 48 minutes doesn't coincide with your 1 hour, 48 minutes. But still, can't we have a baby-less shower like once a year? I mean, I go to all the baby showers and birthdays....I don't think an "I'm not a mommy" party is too much to ask for. This article included some fascinating comments from readers ranging from completely agreeing to absolutely appalled that anyone wouldn't LOVE giving birth to a 7lb human. My vagina appreciates me, thanks. Little did I know, I am completely selfish and will never ever feel fulfilled in my heart and self until I have conceived a child- According to these folks.
Back to these comments- They included a little debate which I couldn't help but shout out a little "IN YOUR FACE" at the end. This lady began by saying "Every time I read about couples like this I remember the little old ladies in the nursing homes I have visited who never had any children and have to rely on that lone nephew who lives 1,500 miles away for a family connection." To my satisfying surprise, a reply: "Are you suggesting that the primary reason to have children is that you will have someone to take care of you when you grow old? Speaking of selfish motivations."
BRAVO, BRAVO!!!!
I don't hate kids. I may get seriously annoyed by most of them, especially when they walk up to my dog and grab at him without asking.... then I want to choke them. But all-in-all, when it comes to my friend's kids, I find them adorable and at the least, tolerable. My favorite is my friend Meghan who on more than one occasion has had to say (and I quote:" OMG Amanda I'll have to call you back, Caden has poop all over his hands and face,"--Awesome!! Gotta love her.
I love you! Very well stated my childless friend! People who talk about having children just so they will have "visitors" or "caretakers" when they are old are pretty damn selfish and ultimately those will be the people in the nursing homes whose children NEVER go to visit them and rely solely on God's angels...NURSES!!! :) Perhaps I'm a bit bias, but who cares...We are angels. I take better care of my patients than I do my own children. I love my children and would lay down my own life for them. I wouldn't think twice about knocking someone out who hurts them or disrespects them, but man I am at times envious that your child sleeps through the night and that you can crate your child. Sure, I can buy a playpen at the store, but I'd be arrested if I put the kids in it and drove to the store to pick up their food! Lol. I find it quite responsible that you are very aware of yourself and the independence of your marriage. Nothing wrong with putting yourself first!! It is better to put yourself first NOW rather than when you are 2 children deep and leaving them with a sitter 24-7 and making them another's responsibility. There is nothing I hate more than people who have children, but live at a bar more than 2 nights a week - Unless you work there...Go home and take care of your child. There is a time for fun, time to act like you don't have a child, but seriously where do these women find the time? Work from 9-5, happy hour(s), while your son or daughter is at daycare? Go home Mom...Really. Men can get away with this...Work, happy hour(s) and then out for Monday night football while Mom is at home holding down the fort. Perhaps I'm old fashioned or maybe it was just that my mom and grandmother raised me differently, but even when I go out on a Saturday night (which is rare lately because Kevin and I are now homebodies - Thank God!) I feel extreme guilt for not being home with them. I can never fully be "alone" in my thoughts as they are always in my mind...What if something happens? They spike a fever? Break a bone? Is that my mother's responsibility to drive them to the hospital or call the on-call doc because Mommy's drunk? Ugh. Give me a break. Don't get me wrong - I let loose from time to time and have even had an all nighter with the toilet because I drank too much, but is it worth it? I'm so thankful for my friends who love me no matter what. The ones who are okay with dinner, a couple drinks, and calling it a night so that I can go home to resume my ultimate responsibility :) Now while I realize this is not my blog...Don't ever feel guilt over your decision. You have a beautiful life with or without children. Children grow up only to leave and cleave to their own spouse...There is beauty in raising them, but they are only your's for a limited amount of time and God forbid they grow up to have issues because those issues will be ALL YOUR FAULT! You're the parent. Cheers to you my love and your new blog...I love it :)
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