Virginia as a Second Husband: Appreciating Wine, Ham, Roads and Love

While Virginia is, and has always been, my home; I've had a few momentary lapses of judgement where I decided it would be a famous idea to move elsewhere! While living not-so "abroad", the appeals of our motherland became much more visible. No, we didn't live somewhere vintage and inspiring, we lived in Arkansas. Even living in Hot Springs (a more civilized region of the state), made us Virginians of the heart, yearn for the wide rivers, rich wines and people who aren't always so damn nice! Southern hospitality is so overrated, please be rude, and drive with purpose; eat vegetables (no, gravy is NOT a vegetable), if I don't know you, please don't speak to me unless I ask you something; Shop online a little, get some items of clothing outsourced; Yes, there are salons in your town that offer hair styles other than perms and bangs; It's really not necessary to have 8 children in the DMV, Grocery store, Bank (Hell, it's not necessary to have 8 kids, even 1); Please assess your current living situation/natural-born appearance before deciding to procreate, it's just considerate; Take a glance in the mirror before heading out into society, I don't need to see that bit of skin hanging over your belt. I missed the humming of street lights at 3, 4am, bringing truth (and light), to what you thought was an attractive girl. Afternoons when the many vineyards scattered across the state were stained with pompous wine snobs, big obnoxious hats on drunk, short-dressed women. *Sigh*, How I love that scene, I myself love nothing more than thinking about how wonderful I look in my new Coach heels while sipping a Virginia Cab Sauv. Virginians know what's good, they know what looks good, feels good, what life is about. It's about roads that are kept up, making a smooth ride in our oversize SUVs; Virginia Country Ham on my crescent roll next to my 10$ Bloody Mary at Brunch, "Yes, thank you I'll have another, extra vodka please, not Grey Goose, that's for amateurs."  If you find love here, just know that as refined as we may be, Virginians are passionate, and enjoy a good scene. Choose wisely, and you'll find forever love. Beautiful people come from here, satisfied and cultured. Obsessed enough with their own lives not to worry about chatting you up for an hour at the gas station about how the storm took the roof off their trailer. I love it here. I will never move away again. Virginia, please know this girl is yours for life. I may travel here and there, experience other horizons and sip real Paris wine, but know that I'm always thinking of you, and your girl will be home soon.

Signed, Your biggest fan


Oh, and Guns.