Virginia as a Second Husband: Appreciating Wine, Ham, Roads and Love

While Virginia is, and has always been, my home; I've had a few momentary lapses of judgement where I decided it would be a famous idea to move elsewhere! While living not-so "abroad", the appeals of our motherland became much more visible. No, we didn't live somewhere vintage and inspiring, we lived in Arkansas. Even living in Hot Springs (a more civilized region of the state), made us Virginians of the heart, yearn for the wide rivers, rich wines and people who aren't always so damn nice! Southern hospitality is so overrated, please be rude, and drive with purpose; eat vegetables (no, gravy is NOT a vegetable), if I don't know you, please don't speak to me unless I ask you something; Shop online a little, get some items of clothing outsourced; Yes, there are salons in your town that offer hair styles other than perms and bangs; It's really not necessary to have 8 children in the DMV, Grocery store, Bank (Hell, it's not necessary to have 8 kids, even 1); Please assess your current living situation/natural-born appearance before deciding to procreate, it's just considerate; Take a glance in the mirror before heading out into society, I don't need to see that bit of skin hanging over your belt. I missed the humming of street lights at 3, 4am, bringing truth (and light), to what you thought was an attractive girl. Afternoons when the many vineyards scattered across the state were stained with pompous wine snobs, big obnoxious hats on drunk, short-dressed women. *Sigh*, How I love that scene, I myself love nothing more than thinking about how wonderful I look in my new Coach heels while sipping a Virginia Cab Sauv. Virginians know what's good, they know what looks good, feels good, what life is about. It's about roads that are kept up, making a smooth ride in our oversize SUVs; Virginia Country Ham on my crescent roll next to my 10$ Bloody Mary at Brunch, "Yes, thank you I'll have another, extra vodka please, not Grey Goose, that's for amateurs."  If you find love here, just know that as refined as we may be, Virginians are passionate, and enjoy a good scene. Choose wisely, and you'll find forever love. Beautiful people come from here, satisfied and cultured. Obsessed enough with their own lives not to worry about chatting you up for an hour at the gas station about how the storm took the roof off their trailer. I love it here. I will never move away again. Virginia, please know this girl is yours for life. I may travel here and there, experience other horizons and sip real Paris wine, but know that I'm always thinking of you, and your girl will be home soon.

Signed, Your biggest fan


Oh, and Guns.

Fudge & Friends and my fav Dog Cartoonist- Randy Glasbergen

A marriage with or without children, which one is happiest? -By Kristen Houghton

A happy marriage is made up of many factors. One of these is making crucial and long-lasting decisions as a couple that will impact your life together. The decision whether or not to have children is a major life-choice that should be given top priority.

The simple idea that getting married and having children always go hand-in-hand is as outdated as the super large cell phones of the early 1990's. Very few couples assume that having a child automatically follows a trip down the aisle. While some wait a few years to reproduce, many married couples are choosing not to have children at all. These are personal choices for adults and should be respected.

"We made the right decision for us," said Anna who has been married for 22 years. "My husband and I got married right out of high school. We were babies ourselves and we decided that, if we were going to have children, it would be at a much later date. For six years we both went to night school while holding down day jobs. After we graduated we spent the next five years building careers. Finally we got to the point where we were able to enjoy the financial aspect of all our hard work. We traveled, we built the custom dream house we wanted; we enjoyed our life. Around the time we built our house, we had a heart to heart talk and made the decision not to have children. We do not regret our decision."

The idea that a couple will, at some later date in their marriage, regret not having children has been an ongoing debate. Couples hear statements like:

"You'll miss out on being a parent." "You'll have no one who cares when you're old."
"What's a marriage without children?"
"You're selfish if you don't want children."

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent and it isn't selfish to not want children.

Others embrace parenthood -- like Carly and Jon -- who had their first child 11 months after they were married.

"While we love our kids, we sometimes wish we had waited a few years. But we knew that we wanted children and when we became pregnant, we adjusted. Sometimes friends say that we're missing out on life because we had our children so early but to be honest, neither one of us could see a life without having children so, early or not, it has turned out alright for us."

Whether to be a parent or not is one of the most private and personal decisions you and the person you marry will make. But, and there's always a "but" in decision-making, you and your spouse absolutely must be on the same page and comfortable with your choice. If you want children and your spouse doesn't or if it is the other way around, then there might be trouble ahead for you both. The choice to have or not have children has to be a joint one.

Do some people regret a decision made early on in a marriage? Surprisingly, very few do. While I have met people who have momentary feelings of being "trapped as parents" and who feel they are sometimes sacrificing too much of themselves, most women and men feel comfortable with their decision to have children.

And I know of only one couple who wished they had become parents, but their regret had more to do with their unhappiness as a couple rather than not having children.

Happiness it seems is making the choice that is best for you.

The most successful marriages are the ones with like-minded spouses. Knowing what you want and knowing that your spouse wants the same thing is a gift. Making rational and heart-felt decisions together is crucial to your relationship.

Be honest with yourself first and then be honest with your prospective spouse.

The reality of the word "marriage" is a meeting of two minds and the joining of two lives. Husband and wife need not always become Daddy and Mommy. Decide how you want to live and be realistic about your expectations, your needs, and your wants. To become or not become parents is a personal decision and both choices should be honored.

Make your decision together and have no regrets. Live your life the way you both want it to be, not the way anyone else says it should be. Be satisfied to satisfy yourselves.

Holy Mackeral it's Tuesday

Almost as good as finding a whole paper dollar (as opposed to coinage- which is far less exciting) in your jacket pocket you haven't worn in a year,is going around all morning, thinking it's Wednesday, when in fact, it's Tuesday.  While most others, and myself on a normal week, would typically loathe the realization that you are one day further from the weekend than you originally thought, this week could stay Tuesday until next Monday. I have Drill this weekend, a PT test to be exact so every day closer to that, is one day closer to me not enjoying my weekend whatsoever. Please excuse the run-on sentences as I am writing how I think. Once a month, I wish I could just skip the weekend and move right on into next week. While I love being in the military, I hate drill weekends. 

Dear fake Wednesday: 

Thank you so much for not being today. I really would like to go to the gym and Wednesdays are off-gym day. I would also like it to be one day further from Saturday so I really appreciate you tricking me. Please mark your calendar for next month to wake me up in the same manner.

Tuesday: Momma loves you.

Here's to Wednesday, Thursday and Friday left in this week!

While my Canine lay comfortably....

- I lay, one leg up somewhere around my ribs, the other lodged in my husbands back. This is all so that my sweet, sleeping, farting angel can snooze peacefully, across the bottom of the bed. We have a king-size. Little did we know, the actual king of the house would be taking it over. Goodnight sweet Bristol, mommy will take the back pain in the morning, so you may wake refreshed.

Patrick the King!!!

Yea baby, he's doing well!!

 http://www.seattledogspot.com/2011/05/09/two-new-patrick-videos/


 

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Bristol Stewart Stracener

"He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not along to care for me.) When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me... whenever... wherever - in case I need him. And I expect I will - as I always have. He is just my dog."
- Gene Hill

Not to be presumptuous but since the acquisition of our Money Tree, strange, wonderful things have been happening.

Tune in next week for "How our Money Tree Ruined Our Life."

Babies, Dogs, and poop.

I get asked constantly "When are you guys having babies?"; "You would make such good parents", they say. Sure, I agree with the second part. I would make an amazing Mother, and Phillip, an even more amazing Dad. How do we know this? Because we have a son, he has 4 legs, fur and I pick up his poop, just as a mother changes a diaper. I read this article about being married without children. It was written by a liberal (we are staunch Republicans, minus the religion part), nevertheless, I agreed on everything this article said about parenthood, or non-parenthood I should say, and the prejudices that come along with it. It's hard being married and planning on a zero-tolerance baby policy! Glad there are others, though, that don't judge us on our unwillingness to procreate.Many childless couples say they find themselves drifting away from friends once children are added to the mix. I find this all-too-true in my own life as they become less and less available. I become the friend they can count on for a "I don't have the kids for 1 hour and 48 minutes" date, let's down 5 martinis. Don't get me wrong, I would MUCH rather be THAT friend than the mommy friend who's 1 hour, 48 minutes doesn't coincide with your 1 hour, 48 minutes. But still, can't we have a baby-less shower like once a year? I mean, I go to all the baby showers and birthdays....I don't think an "I'm not a mommy" party is too much to ask for. This article included some fascinating comments from readers ranging from completely agreeing to absolutely appalled that anyone wouldn't LOVE giving birth to a 7lb human. My vagina appreciates me, thanks. Little did I know, I am completely selfish and will never ever feel fulfilled in my heart and self until I have conceived a child- According to these folks. 

Back to these comments- They included a little debate which I couldn't help but shout out a little "IN YOUR FACE" at the end. This lady began by saying "Every time I read about couples like this I remember the little old ladies in the nursing homes I have visited who never had any children and have to rely on that lone nephew who lives 1,500 miles away for a family connection." To my satisfying surprise, a reply: "Are you suggesting that the primary reason to have children is that you will have someone to take care of you when you grow old? Speaking of selfish motivations."

BRAVO, BRAVO!!!! 

Thank you mysterious lady for stating the obvious- Choosing to be child-less doesn't automatically make you a selfish, self-centered alcoholic (An earlier comment alluded to couples with no kids as being "Complete Party Animals")!!

I don't hate kids. I may get seriously annoyed by most of them, especially when they walk up to my dog and grab at him without asking.... then I want to choke them. But all-in-all, when it comes to my friend's kids, I find them adorable and at the least, tolerable. My favorite is my friend Meghan who on more than one occasion has had to say (and I quote:" OMG Amanda I'll have to call you back, Caden has poop all over his hands and face,"--Awesome!! Gotta love her.

Moral of the story- I have a 1 year, 10 month old Boxer/Pibull mix who is my whole world. He listens, he sleeps through the night, he makes me laugh, he loves me unconditionally and will never want to do anything in this world that doesn't please me. NO kid could compete with that.